"My babies are growing up and I want to freeze time. I'm not ready for this. I've only just become a Mum"
Here I am, sitting here trying to fill time to distract me from anxiously staring at the baby monitor. Our smallest tiny human is now a little over four months old, and this week marks the time she's being evicted from our room. I'm not exactly on board with this transition. I'm sure the severe lack of sleep is not helping, as I've spent the day wandering around feeling like a drunk without the enjoyable consumption of tasty adult beverages.
The older girls were all in their own rooms by three months, so L can't see what the problem is. Supposedly, we are disturbing her good sleep and she doesn't like the spare room. Yes, you can imagine I have a WTF-face in full swing over this matter.
I have two issues with the move. Number one is the feeding situation. I'm still feeding anything between one and three times in the night, depending on if I make it to bed later than 8pm or if Little One is having a growth spurt or if Mini Pea Pod just decides that she just would much rather be attached to my worn nipple rather than be in her own bed. So I didn't really want to put her in her own room, as it's further to go and get her. Then I need to decide if I stay up and feed her in the nursing chair or if I bring her back to bed so I can get as much rest as possible.
Number two is my, perhaps ludicrous, overwhelming need to keep my little baby a little baby and for her not to grow up at all!! It's crackers really as with G being my first I was all, "Come on! What's the next milestone?" But now I'm sad instead of happy at the milestones. They're a reminder that little people grow up so so quick and that these moments don't last forever. There is a chance I could be being a little bit sensitive about the whole thing. I mean I hysterically ugly cried on Saturday when we received the induction letter for G's school. Can you imagine what I will be like in September??? My babies are growing up and I want to freeze time. I'm not ready for this. I've only just become a Mum.
Hmm.... although I don't mind if Little Miss Chaos grows up just a teeny bit. Just enough to lose the major attitude that comes with a toddler being adamant they can do everything themselves, then realising they can't and a slight improvement on the bladder control as she chose to squat on my driver seat of the car and relieve herself. But with her smile, she can get away with absolutely anything. She even has L wrapped round her finger!
So back to the room move... I hoped that Tiny One would HATE her new room, and big cot, but last night she actually slept quite well. That annoys me. Maybe L was right about moving her to her own room as tonight she is also sleeping well so far. I hate it when she is right. But after the 3am feed this morning, I didn't hesitate to get her back in with me. I call it a compromise! Happy Mummy, happy baby!!!! It was delightful waking up to this little face.
Anyway, rather than me spending time agonising over the inevitable growth of these babies, I should be turning my attention and energy to expressing enough milk to afford L and I a whole day off from children when we head to Ladies Day at Royal Ascot. This has been planned since last year with the lads from work and it's always a great day out. When pregnancy was dull and I was feeling fed up with missing out on social events, this was one of the things I was looking forward to. Some nice, easy, simple fun with good friends! Just hoping that I can keep up with everyone and don't end up puking, falling over or making a fool of myself, since I'm severely out of practice when it comes to drinking alcohol. But letting my hair down is exactly what I need, plus I'll have my beautiful babies to go home to - and deal with the following day!
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