I need caffeine

"You'd think by child three, I'd have cracked this parenting lark"

Today is a caffeinated drinks and sugar kind of day. I had very little sleep, because I had to keep getting up to put the dummy back in to settle the Tiny One. How do people do that? It seems counterproductive. The other girls never took to a dummy so we never had this experience. I've only just stopped wrapping the baby into a burrito and I'm finding she isn't going off as easily, so I'm staggering around like a crazy drunk on this repeated loop of popping that dummy back in to hopefully get at least an hours sleep all the way through. I think I was up at least six times last night, but I lost count, and the will to live, at about 3am. Surely there has to be a better way?


You'd think by child three, I'd have cracked this parenting lark, but it just shows you each child comes with its own set of rules and instructions, and they're in a different language so there's no way of knowing what to do.


To make matters worse, today is swimming day, which is my least favourite. It's just the energy it takes trying to coordinate the three of them with their lunch and then the task of getting them all dressed afterwards. So wish I could pay someone to do this for me! I would pick that over a cleaner or ironer any day.


Roll on September when Mammy will be taking over swimming duties on a Saturday morning and, if the kids are really lucky, she can be like a McDonald's Dad and take them for lunch afterwards! She's in good training after I negotiated for her to take our big girls to a kid's party on Sunday, along with one of their friends. L was ACTUALLY in charge of three kids! Ha ha! Yes! She has three kids too so she will need to get used to it.


Tomorrow I'm leaving them all for the first time ever for a whole afternoon while I head off with friends for a bottomless Prosecco lunch. I'm going through a mixture of emotions and feeling bad leaving them, especially the little one, who I will need to express for and what if she doesn't take the bottle? Thankfully I have a back-up plan - a super nanny who has accomplished the bottle feed before. She can come to the rescue if needed. Then there is another part of me that doesn't feel guilty one bit. That thinks actually I deserve to let my hair down a little and go have some me-time away from the kids. Not too much Prosecco though, as I can't be dealing with a hangover on Sunday. That would not be pretty. Plus there is the risk of overdoing it, since I'm massively out of practice from a drinking session. It's been way over a year!


L is currently on a minibreak. Well actually, that depends on who you ask. Supposedly it's a work thing. But this work thing involves a meal with colleagues, a night in a hotel and alcoholic beverages. To me that sounds like a minibreak!! Anyway, supposedly she wasn't going to drink and was going to go to bed after the meal as she had an early start, but sounds like she may have been forced into partaking in some beverages as we didn't hear from her all night and I get a message this morning saying how she feels "a bit swimmy" (code for hungover as hell and please clear the diary for the evening as she will be too rough to do anything).


Normally this wouldn't be a problem, as our social calendar is fairly limited at the moment. However, tonight I had booked a babysitter so we can go for a practice walk as we're hoping to take part in a hike in July and L wants to do some training. I very much doubt we will be going on any practice walk tonight.


I guess the whole family is feeling a bit weary, getting to the end of the week. I asked G to put baby's dummy in and she said, "Mummy, I'm sick of this. She needs milk." That's from a four year old! And Chaotic isn't much better. She's the noisiest human in the house, but had the cheek to cover her ears for the entire car journey as the tiny human was exercising her lungs. I think we all need a minibreak!


Check back every other Friday to read Katy’s latest column or catch up with them all here.



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