Life with the Little One
"There's way too much pressure on new mums to be looking a certain way after they've had a baby, but they've just had a baby!"
I thought I'd have loads of time to write about everything that is happening during night feeds. But Little Miss still has day and night the wrong way round, so can sleep for more than three hours straight in the day but is up feasting every hour in the night.
Thankfully, to keep me going and to help L out a lot, the loveliest and super kind people from church have organised a meal rota where somebody comes to bring us food every day for the first two weeks. It's amazing. Not just savoury food either...CAKES AND DESSERT. It's like something out of the sweetest little movie. We are so very lucky to have friends like these.
Here's me and the Tiny One on day six. This is six days since this little bundle of goodness arrived and what a delight she is. I don't want to jinx it, but so far she has been so good. Sometimes you wouldn't even know she is there.
I've had loads of messages from people saying how relaxed we all seem and how happy we always are, but I've not felt too much like that over the last six days. Today is the first day I feel a little bit more like me and a little bit less like utter crap.
It's these times when you realise that without that special person in your life you wouldn't have half the strength you do. L has been my absolute rock this last week. She's not only had the girls to look after or the day-to-day tasks, but she has broken me out of hospital and cared for me at home with endless cups of tea and snacks. Sometimes there's no place like home and it couldn't be more true this week. She's seen me at my very worst but it hasn't phased her. She's just been encouraging me all along the way. Although I was brave at the time I had the little puncture to my bladder and another part dissected during my section, the aftermath has not been so pretty. I didn't think I would get past day 2 as that's when I was completely broken but she was there for me, along with a super guardian angel friend, holding my hand through the pain and wiping up the tears.
So I certainly don't look like any celebrities in magazines post-birth but this is real life and although it's not as glamourous, it's still beautiful in its own way. There's way too much pressure on new mums to be looking a certain way after they've had a baby, but they've just had a baby! Give them a break. Let them wear their PJs in the house with unbrushed hair and no make-up on. That's how I intend to spend this first two weeks.
I look about six months pregnant with my swollen belly. L says my scar looks good, but I can't see it yet because of the belly. I have a 1cm cut on my nipple from feeding and every time Little One latches on, my toes curl and I wince. Plus I have this catheter, which I have to keep in for two weeks before they can check my bladder repair has been successful. I managed to loop the tube round the bed the other night when I was up for a night feed and I thought I'd yanked my urethra out. There were more tears to add to the usual postnatal hormones!
Despite all of this, I keep looking at our little baby who is so calm and content and tiny and it makes me happy. I'm grateful that we are so blessed. She looks like a little burrito baby all wrapped up and I would go through all of this again to have this little face to stare at.
I am still on countdown to COD (catheter out day) but I've made it through another day, thanks to cuddles with my three babies and L, so life is good. Day seven is one step closer to being 100% me again.
Check back every other Friday to read Katy’s latest column or catch up with them all here.
Only reading DIVA online? You're missing out. For more news, reviews and commentary, check out the latest issue. It's pretty badass, if we do say so ourselves.