My IVF Journey: The Result
In a way, I don't want to test as I want the hope to go on; It's a nice feeling to have hope.
Six days until test day: googled how quick people find out they are pregnant. Found some people found out early so that made me want to test, then read a few that didn't find out until late so I discarded all information. I'm feeling short tempered.
Three days until test day: I don't think i'm pregnant. L tells me I am pregnant. She says I'm showing all the signs. What does she know? I cried when I saw a 13-day-old baby today. Ah, you forget how small they are. I wanted to sniff it's head but that's just weird, isn't it? I'm not sure their parent would appreciate it.
Two days until test day: I dreamt I was at a hospital having a scan and they told me I was pregnant. Seems like the only time I can really think about things is in my dreams. I've also started feeling really sick. The watery mouth kind of sick. And hungry. Yes hungry too but can't eat. Surely can't be related. Must be coming down with some sort of illness the small people in our family like to share.
One day until test day: woke up feeling sick. Felt sick all day. Thought I was going to puke doing the nursery run. Held it together for the kids' sake. G would say "yacky" if I did that. L has read up on the testing kit. Seriously this woman. It's the fifth time we have tested and the same type of test (testing has been her role since the very first one) all she has to do is drop the pee onto the plastic thing. It's not rocket science. Not sure I will sleep much tonight. The tiny one wakes up at four usually so only six hours to go. In a way, I don't want to test as I want the hope to go on. It's a nice feeling to have hope.
Test day: it's 3:30am. The tiny ones are still asleep. It won't be long until they wake up and ruin this rare quiet moment. I need to pee but I want to test. Wish L would wake up so we can do it. Maybe if I do a big shuffle it'll wake her up. Yes. I can hear her stirring. She's checking the time. Be still so she doesn't blame me for waking her.
She checked if I was awake. Yes I'm awake and I need to pee!! So let's do it.
L set her timer we had to wait three minutes. It went really quick. I don't think we said anything to each other during those three minutes. Then she went into the bathroom to check the result. I was half looking, curled into a ball, half trying to protect myself against a bad result but as she popped her stupid little face round the door I knew there was no bad result. We were pregnant and she confirmed it to me when she handed me the test. Shit! Here we go again. Our world is about to grow.
Obviously we were both overjoyed to have been so lucky to get a positive but we laughed at just how nuts our life will become. As if it wasn't crackers enough as it is!! I just kept staring at the test making sure it didn't change. Bozo.
So I called the clinic to let them know the result but I was more nervous wondering if the recipient was pregnant but it turned out they hadn't heard anything yet. No news is good news, I hope.
About ten minutes later my phone rang private number so must be the clinic. Please, please, please, let it be good news.
It was. The recipient was now pregnant. That moment is like no moment I have ever felt. It is different to all of those amazing, special days in my life which are the best days of my life but this moment was on par with those feelings. To be told that you've helped give someone the gift of life and to make their dreams come true is wonderful. I couldn't stop crying. I know how it feels to get the positive result, to be pregnant and to hold your baby for the very first time and now this woman was going to have this. What a fantastic feeling of pure joy for someone else's happiness.
Now to enjoy these moments before the worry and the sickness kick in!
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