We've come a long way (pun intended) from the days when women
who were fortunate enough to enjoy an orgasm were dragged to the
doctors, "massaged" with a vibrator and diagnosed with hysteria.
Now with books, magazines and tv programmes propelling the myths
that we can all go from nought to "OH MY GOD!" in seconds and that
orgasm is the only way to end a sex session, we are more likely to
find ourselves questioning our bodies if we don't come.
For decades I struggled with an inability to orgasm. I became
obsessed with finding answers, to the point that I became a sex
journalist. Happily, I've discovered lots of ways to become
orgasmic and to enhance our orgasms once we're there. So, dear
readers, grab your mirrors, lube up your fingers and fasten your
strap-on belts - you may be in for a gloriously bumpy ride...
So, what is an orgasm?
Science tells us that when we orgasm, our pelvic or "kegel"
muscles contract, we may shout out, have muscle spasms and feel a
release of sexual tension. But the reality can be different for all
of us. Says Janet, a 30-year-old pr executive: "For me orgasm is a
warm, pulsating swell that builds in my vagina, growing hotter and
fuller, until it explodes in delicious ripples of electric pleasure
that fill every extremity of my body before finally subsiding,
ebbing away and leaving me breathless and too sensitive to touch -
anywhere!" While for mum Jenny, who is in her 30s: "I just feel a
bit of a buzz at the end of my sessions. It's pleasant but it's no
Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally malarkey."
Push your buttons
Did you also know that most women can only come through clitoral
stimulation? And that the clitoris is more than the little bud
under your hood? It actually extends inside you, down the sides of
your vagina to your anus. Says Melissa, a 28-year-old IT worker:
"If I lose concentration on my fantasy or apply the wrong pressure
on the wrong spot of my clit just as I'm about to climax, I won't
hit the full peak."
Read the rest of this interview in our December issue,
on sale from November 22 2012.
Buy the issue at DIVAdirect.co.uk