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COOKIES & PRIVACY POLICY

DIVA Horoscopes

Aries (21 Mar-19 Apr)

Losing sight of the things that really matter, Aries? Time you got down to the nearest opticians then, or better yet, give yourself a shake and stop having tunnel vision! Sure the small things that happen in life are enough to piss anyone off, but do you really need to spend half an hour moaning about the cost of your morning Starbucks? There are bigger things in the world to fuss about, admit it. 

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Taurus (20 Apr-20 May)

Sure, everyone loves the chase Taurus, but isn't it about time you cut your admirer some slack? They've been trying their hardest and you can tell by looking at them that they think the sun shines out of your backside - why not give a little eh? The whole 'playing hard to get' thing won't work for long and they'll move on to someone who enjoys the affection... 

 

 

 

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Gemini (21 May-21 Jun)

Every little sure does help, Gemini, but there's a difference between being careful with your money, and being downright tight. It's good to save, don't get me wrong, but you still need to live a little! Saving your pennies for a rainy day seems to be your favourite catchphrase at the moment but what if that rainy day never comes? What will you have to show for it eh? 

 

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Cancer (22 Jun-22 Jul)

Pride season got the better of you Cancer? There's only so much drinking, partying and face-paint stained body parts you can take, I don't blame you! Why not stay in instead? Grab some of your friends, and that special lady of yours, and have a pride-at-home party instead? You'll have your home comforts, you'll spend less money, and when you get tired you can kick everyone out! 

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Leo (23 Jul-22 Aug)

Yes, Leo, things in your past have been difficult but that doesn't mean that you have to worry about these things happening again. Not everyone's the same, and sometimes it's good to take the risk and jump in head AND heart first, your loved one seemingly worships the ground you walk on, you have nothing to worry about and you'd be an utter fool if you thought that you did. 

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Virgo (23 Aug-22 Sep)

Feeling like you're piling on the pounds, Virgo? That's ok! Everyone's allowed to binge eat once in a while. Who doesn't love that kebab at the end of a night out or the odd pick-me-up bar of chocolate at the end of a rather tiresome week? Just, you know, don't make a habit out of it and it won't become an issue. Besides, plenty of people love a more curvaceous figure... 

 

 

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Libra (23 Sep-23 Oct)

Ever feel like throwing in the towel, Libra? I don't blame you - most of us have felt like giving up once in a while, but you're stronger than that. Pick that towel up and chuck it in the wash, everything feels newer after a clean. If you want my advice you need to cleanse your life from all the crap you've accumulated, start a fresh, it can't be a bad thing surely? 

 

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Scorpio (24 Oct-21 Nov)

Tired and worn out, Scorpio? I feel you. It's been a tough time lately but stick with it, at the risk of sounding like a cliche, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Just plough through all the stuff that keeps getting thrown at you (whether metaphorical or literal, like your dinner), whatever it is, you'll be fine. 

 

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Sagittarius (22 Nov-21 Dec)

Money does indeed make the world go round, Sagittarius, and it seems that you haven't got enough to make the next round of drinks, let alone support the Earth's orbit. Maybe you should take it easy with the spending? It might make you less 'popular', less 'in' if you can't pay your way, but at the end of the day you'll have a nice little pot of money, rather than be without a pot to piss in. 

 

 

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Capricorn (22 Dec-19 Jan)

You know, it doesn't make you weak to listen to advice from your friends, Capricorn. Rather than trying to be the life and soul of the party when you're hurting inside, why not try talking to your friends? Sure, they're good for a laugh, but they'll be there to support you when the going get tough? You'll soon find out that the tough don't get going, they'll stick around. 

 

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Aquarius (20 Jan-18 Feb)

Craving some love and attention, Aquarius? Rather than finding a woman to fawn all over - who will no doubt get you into trouble - why not get a pet? A cat would be perfect! They cuddle, they snuggle, they don't answer back (much), they're utterly adorable, and other than food, water and fussings, they're pretty self sufficient. A lot of women swear by one... 

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Pisces (19 Feb-20 Mar)

Your baby steps seem to be paying off, don't they Pisces? It all adds up and it's so much better to do it this way, you wouldn't want to run before you can walk would you? Your lovely lady is so proud of you, your patience is paying off and now look, things are finally going your way. Before you know it, you'll be jumping hurdles (metaphorically, of course, I don't know how flexible you are!) But well done you, stick at it! 

 

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