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COOKIES & PRIVACY POLICY

DIVA Horoscopes

Aries (21 Mar-19 Apr)

Have you ever considered, Aries, that it is not love that you are falling in and out of, but lust? If you find yourself drawn to the physical aspects of a lovely lady more than her personal qualities, then I suggest that you, my friend, are a serial sex fiend. You may profess to be a Casanova in the world of romance, but I'd say that you're no different to our favourite heartbreaker Ms McCutcheon - why don't you give it a shot, you know, monogamy? It might do you some good to focus on the many lovely things about your lady, rather than the lovely things about many ladies. Try falling out of lust and in love for once, it's good for the soul, trust me.

 

 

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Taurus (20 Apr-20 May)

Oops, that was a mistake, wasn't it Taurus? You don't often screw up, but when you do it is off the scale. You may have caused monumental upset, but these things can be fixed. You may think it's a lost cause, but that's not entirely the case… flowers, grovelling, apologies, cuddles and general sucking up usually go a long way in making up for something, so why don't you begin with those? I'm sure that the aggrieved party will think of a more suitable punishment for your crime and I'm sorry to tell you that you're going to have to play along if you even stand a chance of reconciliation. Be patient, but be persistent - you'll get there.

 

 

 

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Gemini (21 May-21 Jun)

Occasionally, Gemini, you do have to admit defeat. It might be a reluctant acceptance that something has passed you by, but there will always be something else, something better that will come your way. You can stamp your feet and moan about the unfairness of it all you want, but that's not going to get you what you want - so pick up your toys and put them back in your pram and move on. Of course, you're entitled to a little downtime, a little head-hanging sadness that you weren't chosen or you missed out, but you need to get back on the horse as soon as you can… so to speak… you can do it!

 

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Cancer (22 Jun-22 Jul)

If you blink, you'll miss it Cancer. It's finally coming your way, it's your turn for it… the big 'L'  word. Don't hold your breath in anticipation, just go about your business like you usually would but keep an eye out - it might be a longing glance from across your work cafeteria, or someone might fall over slap-bang in front of you, but whichever direction it's coming from, you need to be ready. It might not be something grand out of a Hollywood blockbuster, but it'll certainly be humble - if you decide that you don't want the big 'L' to fall in your lap, there's always a quick fumble in a darkened room to keep you going until you're ready…

 

 

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Leo (23 Jul-22 Aug)

Letting something go, Leo, doesn't mean that you have to forget about it. You can forgive someone for the mistakes they've made but if you're still sore from the hurt they caused you, you don't have to forget. Often it pays to keep your wits about you and no-one would blame you for being a little bit cautious, after all, we all have to look after number one from time to time. I don't mean mumble and hold a vengeful grudge like a scorned Disney villain, but let past wrongs steadily tick over in your mind as a reminder of what someone is capable of. If you really feel the need, I'm sure that some devilish revenge wouldn't go amiss…

 

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Virgo (23 Aug-22 Sep)

Feisty one aren't you, Virgo? Who'd have thought that you'd eventually burst out of your shell to jump to your defence with such gusto! Well, no-ones complaining, it makes a change from having others fight your battles for you and it's good to see you with a bit of fire in your belly. You never know, your new sassy attitude might draw the attention of a lovely lady, someone has been waiting for you to become passionate about something and now that you have, their interest in you is well and truly cemented in concrete. I guess they just need to make sure that they don't get on your bad side… or maybe you like that kinda thing? ;)

 

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Libra (23 Sep-23 Oct)

Why are you playing the guilt-trip card, Libra? You were a willing participant and you didn't have to take the advice that was offered to you, but you did. It might have all gone a bit tits up but that's not the fault of the friend whose advice you decided to follow, some things just aren't meant to run smoothly. Giving your friend the cold shoulder isn't justified, and who knows when you might need some advice again? Although this time I'm sure you'll be a bit more wary about following their instructions to a 'T'… but remember, you're old enough and ugly enough to make your own choices, and if it all screws up again, it's not their fault.

 

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Scorpio (24 Oct-21 Nov)

Are you a cash machine, Scorpio? Do you have 'doormat' scribed on your forehead? No? Then why on earth are you letting your friends take you for a ride? Offering to pick up the bill is one thing, but when people start to assume that you're paying/that dinner is at yours/that they conveniently forgot their wallet, well, something isn't right. You have two options, either carry on as you are and let them squeeze your bank account dry, or stand up for yourself and 'forget' your credit card once in a while… they've done it enough times with you so they haven't got a leg to stand on have they? And don't feel guilty - let someone else pick up the tab.

 

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Sagittarius (22 Nov-21 Dec)

Dithering between two choices is tiresome, Sagittarius, and no matter how much you mull over the pros and cons of each you're no closer to making a solid decision than you were a week ago. So why waste your time worrying about potential outcomes - why not leave it up to fate? If making decisions is causing you so much bother, take the stress out of it and opt for flipping a coin - heads for yes and tails for no, it'll make your choices a lot easier - and it'll save some time. Sure it can be stressful not making an educated decision, but grab your closest 2p and take a gamble on fate, who knows what the outcome will be?

 

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Capricorn (22 Dec-19 Jan)

Woah, you're a wild card, Capricorn. If you're not dancing on the tables with a shot of tequila in each hand then you're bedding at least 60% of the women that you come across. When did you become such a party animal? I think it comes from a fear of missing out: missing out on the gossip, a good night out or the hot new lady on the scene isn't the end of the world my friend, so why don't you calm it down a little bit? A night in with a hot bath and sensible dinner wouldn't go amiss, and I'm sure that your bank balance (and your liver) would thank you for it in the end? Just calm down and keep those antics reserved for a while.

 

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Aquarius (20 Jan-18 Feb)

Tidy house = tidy mind, Aquarius. So why not have a little spring clean? You've still got Christmas cards knocking around and your last remaining Easter egg is on its last legs, so I think it's about time to have a clear out, don't you? Before you feng shui the crap out of your living room and work desk, why don't you have a proper clear out? You can always chuck a load of unwanted belongings on eBay and make some cash in the meantime - and with the money you can always stretch to some new furniture, maybe some boxes to keep your stuff in? Just be careful that you don't get distracted by the numerous things you'll find that you've forgotten about!

 

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Pisces (19 Feb-20 Mar)

Be patient, Pisces. Taking things step by step and day by day is the right way to go about this, but you need to have some patience. Changes aren't going to happen overnight, we can't all be like Cinderella and be blessed with a fairy godmother, so you're just going to have to wait it out, you'll see results in no time. You need to stop being so stubborn and wanting to throw your toys out of the pram when things don't change immediately, a tantrum isn't going to make time go any faster and neither is watching paint dry. So kick back, relax and find something else to do - things will start happening soon…

 

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