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COOKIES & PRIVACY POLICY

DIVA Horoscopes

Aries (21 Mar-19 Apr)

Fancy a change, Aries? Realising that you're stuck in a rut is horrible, and it might force you to make a drastic decision - that self-styled haircut from a few years back will haunt you forever. But it doesn't have to be something massive... Just a little change will make the difference. Try a new class, or pick up a new book... Flirt with someone new (if you're single) or try something interesting in the bedroom (if you're not)... 

 

 

 

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Taurus (20 Apr-20 May)

Being mysterious works wonders for many people, Taurus, however there's a difference between being brooding and sexy, and downright stuck up. Those dark corners are enticing, but when someone broaches some kind of conversation with you, it's polite to reply... Manners and conversation don't cost anything and you can always find another corner to conceal yourself in if it doesn't work out! 

 

 

 

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Gemini (21 May-21 Jun)

Where's your sense of fun gone, Gemini? So, the weather is becoming a bit grim and you can't stand the waterlogged streets - but that doesn't mean that you have to hide away in your room. Becoming a hermit can be detrimental to friendships and other relationships, so wrap up warm and venture outside! If you find yourself becoming miserable, I'm sure you can find someone to cosy up to..? 

 

 

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Cancer (22 Jun-22 Jul)

Heartbreak is a horrible thing, Cancer, but it can be just as bad when you're the one causing the heartbreak. So why do you keep doing it? You're beginning to give the likes of Shane and Frankie a run for their money, and sure, while it may seem sexy on the big screen... In real life you're causing a lot more hurt than you'd originally anticipated. Just take it easy eh? Before someone gives you a taste of your own medicine... 

 

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Leo (23 Jul-22 Aug)

Feeling under the weather is all well and good, Leo, but that doesn't justify you moping about the place. Everyone feels a little worse for wear at this time of year, so the more you moan, the less tolerant people will be. At the risk of people snubbing you and your endless sniffles, I suggest you grab yourself some Kleenex and Lemsip and stop whining - you'll get better soon! 

 

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Virgo (23 Aug-22 Sep)

Feeling a little out of the loop lately, Virgo? Names keep cropping up and you have no idea who these people are, yet somehow they seem to have filtered into your social circle without your knowledge... Rather than hiding away from your friends why don't you get back in there? A friendship takes commitment, not the odd text every month... what do you expect if you're not making the effort? 

 

 

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Libra (23 Sep-23 Oct)

Nitpicking at others faults won't make you feel better, Libra, so why do you keep doing it? Sure, your victim is stronger than they were aged 11, but we're no longer at school and those words can still smart a little. As Bambi and his friends taught us - if you can't say anything nice; don't say anything at all. It's not too hard to adhere to that at your age, surely? 

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Scorpio (24 Oct-21 Nov)

You could argue that the salad in your kebab or the fruit coulis in your choccy pudding count towards your five-a-day, Scorpio, but I don't think it works quite like that. Healthy eating is big at the moment, but why jump on that bandwagon when you could scoff down that bag of crisps? I'm not saying cut out all of the crap, we all love a treat every now and again, but just try to munch on an apple or something?

 

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Sagittarius (22 Nov-21 Dec)

People are starting to worry about your whereabouts, Sagittarius! I'm not sure that spending 90% of your time in your lovers arms and the other 10% eating or sleeping counts as being sociable - you're connecting with your other half, fine, but your friends are becoming a bit miffed at your lack of presence. If and when you do reply to their invites, just be sure not to talk incessantly about your lover. It gets a bit tiresome. 

 

 

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Capricorn (22 Dec-19 Jan)

I'm sure your cat is wonderful company, Capricorn, but you're beginning to sound like your Mother. Stop smothering the poor little fluff ball, it doesn't need to be supervised all of the time, cats are actually quite independent. Find something else to occupy your time, I'm sure there's another kind of cat that would rather have your attention... If you get my drift. So direct your advances at your lovely lady, just remember to lock your feline friend out of the room first. 

 

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Aquarius (20 Jan-18 Feb)

Feeling nostalgic, Aquarius? Looking back and missing things is a common aspect of life, but it's no use mourning the loss of an old toy or childhood programme, a long-lost relationship or a missing pair of trousers; those things have passed you by my friend. Try looking forwards, there are plenty of things to focus on - aside from the backside of a lovely lady. Keep your chin up and plough on through! 

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Pisces (19 Feb-20 Mar)

Be proud of yourself Pisces! Your life seems to be going damn well recently - your love life is spot on, your work life is... well, it's work, but it's ok! Your sexual prowess is through the roof, so what do you have to worry about? Kick off your shoes, pour yourself a drink and stop waiting for the next problem to crop up. Try living in the moment, it's a lot more fun than anticipating the worst all the time. 

 

 

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