“Loving yourself sets expectations on how you want to be loved by others”
BY CHRISTINA MITCHELL. PHOTO BY FELIPE BALDUINO
Do you remember the first time you scribbled down all of the attributes you wanted in an ideal partner? She had to be educated, assertive, beautiful, patient and kind, obviously.
In any of those times, did you ever ask yourself: “Would this ideal person think that I’m their ideal partner?” Most of us don’t. If you believe in the law of attraction, you know that the desires of your heart can all be yours. However, when it comes to people, you might not be the desire of someone else’s heart. Here are five ways to be your ideal self – the starting point for meeting your ideal partner.
1️⃣ Accept your flaws
First you have to understand that no one is perfect – not you, not them, not anyone. You have to learn how to accept your own flaws, so that you can be confident in yourself and around others. It also helps you to accepts other people’s flaws, when you know and are at peace with your own.
2️⃣ Work on loving yourself as you are
Love yourself. It’s true, if you cannot love yourself, it will be impossible for you to love any one else. Love is not just a feeling, love is action. If you have not been exercising self love, how can you exercise love for someone else? Loving yourself also sets expectations on how you want to be loved by others. If you love yourself, anyone that comes into your life will be able to see that.
3️⃣ Be prepared to compromise
Everything comes at a cost. No matter how ideal your partner is, there will be times when you will have to compromise. You won’t always see eye-to-eye on everything, it’s a delicate balancing act – and one that we all must learn.
4️⃣ Be open to other people’s flaws
Do not look for their flaws. If you go looking, you will find them. However, if you come across flaws over time, which you will, be open to finding ways to make your partner feel better about those flaws and any insecurities they might have. You should be willing to pour into her flaws and make them smaller than they really are, because the fact that you love her means that those flaws are really not that significant.
5️⃣ Be open to change
Accepting your partner for who they are and not exactly what you want them to be is key. When you think of who your ideal partner is, you also imagine the “ideal life”, however this can set us up for failure, even with the “ideal partner”. Learn how to make what you have now, if it’s already really good, as good as it possibly can be – because it will never be perfect and it will change over time.
At the end of the day, no matter what anyone or any ideology says, your relationship can be whatever you want it to be. There are no rules as to how relationships should operate. Only the people in the relationship can define it.
If something is not for you, it’s not for you. As long as you’re being yourself, to the best of your ability right now, all of that other stuff and that ideal (but not perfect) partner will fall into place.
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