To mark National Coming Out Day, Signe, an employee at the world’s largest sperm bank, Cryos International, shares her memories of coming out
BY CRYOS INTERNATIONAL
“The thing is… I’m into girls.” The first time those words came over her lips was in 2013, and Signe was in the beginning of her 20s. While volunteering as a tutor for exchange students at her university in Denmark, Signe met a French girl who turned out to be more than just a friend.
“We had a special connection, and I knew from the beginning that she was into girls – but I didn’t consider the possibility that I might be too.” Instead, Signe carried on dating guys for a while. But when the semester was ending, and the French girl was about to return home, Signe realised that she had feelings for her and wanted to be more than just friends.
“It took a while for me to realise what was going on. We went to a concert with a lesbian artist, went to a gay bar together and even talked about The L Word, which I secretly watched as a teenager – but still, I had no clue. It must have been so frustrating for her, but she later told me, that it was important for her, that I reached the conclusion myself and wasn’t forced,” Signe remembers. Luckily, her feelings turned out to be mutual, and the two girls had a long distance relationship for a while.
“It went on for about six months before I decided to end things due to the distance. And as time passed, I realised that I was not just into this girl, but girls in general. And only girls,” Signe continues.
When Signe decided to tell people, she expected her friends and family to be cool about it. But she was worried that people would start treating her differently.
The first time she told someone, it was planned out. “I was going travelling with a close friend of mine for the whole summer, and I wanted her to know before we left”. Signe knew that they were going to party and meet new people while travelling, and this was an opportunity to try it out in a safe environment far from home. A few months later, she was ready to disclose her feelings to her family and friends.
“I thought a lot about what I would say, and how they might respond. But in the end, most of the times I just ended up telling people when I couldn’t hold back anymore, and that wasn’t always the best timing or in the best way. But it was such a relief, every time someone important to me was let in.”
When she told her parents, it was not planned. It just slipped out when they asked her if she was seeing any boys. “My Mom was a bit worried about what kind of impact it would have on my future, but I think it’s a mothers job to worry. My Dad just made a joke, saying he was happy to be the only man in my life” Signe says.
Overall people took the news very well. Even her 80-year-old grandmother was and still is very supportive. “Her only concern was if she wouldn’t get more grandchildren. So when I told her, that I still planned on having kids one day, she was happy for me”.
When Signe started telling people, it kind of felt like an anti-climax. Realising this huge new thing about herself and sharing it with the world, expecting some sort of reaction, and then – people were just being cool with it. There was no drama or big difference. Life just went on. “For a while there I actually felt a need to emphasise this new part of me by getting a tattoo or cutting my hair short,” Signe laughs and continues: “instead, I made the decision to talk openly about it and volunteer in a local LGBTQ+-association”.
Working in a sperm bank
Today, Signe is 30 years old and works as a Content & Communications Specialist at Cryos.
“I’m happy to be working in a company, where I feel safe and comfortable to be open about being in a relationship with another girl. That’s not a given, and unfortunately there are still places, where you will experience tiring comments and prejudices about homosexuals.
As a sperm bank, Cryos helps people like me become parents, and in addition works hard to ensure equal rights for all. That’s something to be proud of,” Signe explains.
If you want to know more about Cryos and how to choose a sperm donor, visit Cryos’ webpage here.